last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
