his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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