Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
