1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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