the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
