The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
