I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
