next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
