We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
