I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
