he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
