Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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