He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
