I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
