cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
