saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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