he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
