I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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