Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
