How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
