And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
