i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
