Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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