are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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