i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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