Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
