So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
