never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
