So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
