Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
