So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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