this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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