You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
