All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
