I seem to have left my pride at pride
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
