i will never coherently bang her
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
