I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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