those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
