She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
