you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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