how hairy? two words: wookie tits
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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