i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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