You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
