she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
