Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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