we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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