I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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