Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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