More tranny stories later!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
