there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
