The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
