so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
