well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
